


butterfly in my stomach

by strawberryjamskookie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Genderbending, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:44:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16147103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryjamskookie/pseuds/strawberryjamskookie
Summary: Park Jisung felt guilty when he did it. He felt guilty every night that he'd fall into the pleasure of being with Chenle.Yet what he didn't notice is as he went further with Chenle, the butterfly in Haechan grew bigger and bigger.





	butterfly in my stomach

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infinexx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinexx/gifts).



**butterfly in my stomach**  
_**• wings of a butterfly •** _

"Chenle look," Jisung sighed over the phone. "I can't anymore." His small eyes focused on the ceiling above him and with a small frown, he sighed once again.

"But Jisung-"

"No, Chenle!" Jisung's voice was more forceful this time. Chenle had not been listening to him the entire time. All she did was protest with what Jisung said. "I need to stop this. You know how Haechan feels."

"How about how I feel Jisung? Do you even care about my feelings?" Chenle asked from the other end with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Jisung wanted to say he didn't care. That he simply wanted Chenle and nothing else from her. No love nor feelings. Yet the disappointing part is that he did still care for Chenle. Maybe even more than he cares for Haechan. "Yes, but I need to prioritize Haechan right now."

"Why?" Chenle cried out.

"Because she's my wife." Jisung hated saying that. He just hated admitting that Haechan was someone who belonged to him. After everything he'd done to her, how could she possibly still be his wife?

Chenle seemed like she was about to speak up again, but Jisung had to stop her. "You don't have to say anything Chenle. This is over and that's all."

Like that Jisung turned off the phone and laid back on his bed. He took another deep sigh and closed his eyes, remembering what Haechan had said to him that day.

_All I did was love you!_

Remembering how the corners of her mouth lifted into a bright smile and the little sparkle in her eyes. He remembers everything and although it had been a few months since she'd last spoken to him, he remembers everything.

Especially the moment he ripped the wings off of her back and watched the tears fall from her eyes.

                                                                                                                             

_Jisung unlocked the door, awfully tired from being at work for the entire day. It was late at night and to his surprise when he opened the door, the house was very quiet. Sure, Haechan wasn't that loud. But she'd usually welcome him into the house or be waiting for him on the couch. When he'd checked the living room Haechan wasn't sitting there too._

_Instead of looking for her Jisung simply ignored the fact that she wasn't there and went to the kitchen. He knew she would show up in a bit. Plus he had already told her that he had something important to tell her today._

_With a small frown he picked up an apple on the counter and took a bite out of it. Jisung was currently trying not to think of his previous event with Chenle. The way she bit her lower lip and slightly smiled at him was something he tried not to remember around Haechan. Simply because he felt awfully bad for his wife. But now, Jisung was done spending nights with Chenle only to get a call from Haechan the next morning and lie to her about his whereabouts. Now he wanted to stop making Haechan suffer or get upset._

_Jisung knew one thing though, it was impossible to let go of Chenle. Haechan was easy, he had no feelings for her. All he got out of her was a clean house, ironed clothes, and warm food. But from Chenle he received something so much more satisfying than Haechan. He felt bad, but his wife was simply too boring for him. All she did was smile and obey every single command that he had, not once did she tease him in the way Chenle did._

_So instead of letting go of Chenle, Jisung was prepared to let go of Haechan. He wanted tell her truth, about the thing happening between him and Chenle and how he simply couldn't keep this up anymore. About how he didn't want to hurt her heart and let her go. About how his wife deserved so much more than this, than this torture that he gave her. About how Haechan deserved sweet and affectionate kisses over ones filled with lust._

_Finally he'd heard Haechan's foot steps and could tell she was walking into the kitchen he decided to turn to look at her with a blank expression. She responded to his poker face with a bright and dazzling smile, like always._

_"Welcome home," she said, sounding a little more happy today than other days. Even her smile was slightly brighter. And today it seemed that she was dressed up nicely for him too. "How was your day?" She asked as she approached him._

_"Good," he responded by taking another bite into the apple._

_"Hmm," she nodded, her smiled seemed to be engraved onto her face. Haechan looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at him. "Are you hungry? Let's eat."_

_Jisung nodded and put his apple down onto the counter. He followed her towards the dining room where they sat down at the dining table. Their food was already sitting there, since she always prepared their food before hand and set the table._

_The two of them began eating in silence, she was used to him not talking to her. Yet still, she had an odd smile on her face. By now she'd usually not be smiling and too focused on eating._

_Jisung felt guilty seeing her smiling. He knew what he was going to say was to make her upset, yet he couldn't keep lying to her. "Haechan, I have something serious to discuss."_

_Haechan, who had finished eating, put her spoon down and nodded. She rested her chin against her hand as all her attention was on Jisung. "Yes."_

_Jisung looked at her for a second to see that small sparkle in her eyes but then turned back to the food. He couldn't simply look at when admitting the truth. No, her smile was too brightening. "You know Zhong Chenle right?"_

_Haechan nodded. She remembers Chenle. Jisung had brought her home for dinner a few times so she remembers her very well. "Yes of course. Why? Is something about her concerning you?" A small look of worry spread over he face for Chenle. Little did she know that the woman she was worrying for didn't think twice before kissing her husband._

_"Well," Jisung was now done eating so he put his spoon down and focused his attention on Haechan. "No, it's about us Haechan."_

_"Us?" She seemed a little more confused._

_Jisung sighed and nodded, he couldn't stand the look worry and confusion on her face. He didn't want to make her feel this way, but he knew it would only hurt her more if she didn't know. "Yes. It's about our marriage. I don't think it's all that full of love."_

_Haechan's brights eyes seemed to darken a little. She didn't understand what he was saying. He heart was only filled with love for Jisung. How could he say such a thing? "What?" She questioned in a soft voice. Her smile instantly melted off her face._

_Jisung looked down at the plate and took a deep sigh. "Look Haechan, I don't wanna break your heart but," he looked back up at Haechan, "I've been with Chenle for a while now. I didn't want to be unfaithful to you so I'm sorry but I had to say it. I think we should get divorce."_

_Jisung didn't want to see the heartbreak on her face. No he simply couldn't watch as the sparkles in her eyes began burning her alive. So he looked down at the plate and tried to distract himself he picked up the plate and put it over to the side. "I'm so sorry but we just ca-"_

_Jisung's words got caught in his throat the moment he looked down at the paper on the table. Fear filled his eyes as he slowly looked back at his wife, only to see tears spilling from her eyes._

_Jisung looked back at the table, just to make sure that his brain or eyes weren't playing with him. Right there laid a paper with the most horrid words he's ever read and a picture, just for proof._

**_The butterflies in my stomach have turned into two tiny feet._ **

_Jisung gulped and reached to pick up the picture of the ultra sound. He could see it, the smallest little head of an unborn baby. Tears somehow filled his eyes to as he looked over at Haechan again. By now, she was sobbing intensely. "Y-you're pregnant?" His voice was shaking in fear._

_Haechan didn't respond. Instead she stood up and turned around to leave the room. Jisung quickly stood up and caught her arm before she could leave. She still didn't turn to look at him though, yet he could hear her crying._

_"Haechan I'm sor-"_

_"No Jisung!" She turned around. This time sadness and anger filled her eyes and she simply couldn't help but blame him. "You aren't sorry! You're just a cheater! All I did was love you!"_

_He stood there in silence. Jisung didn't know what to say. Her entire world was crashing right before him and it was all his fault. He could understand her feelings, yet he couldn't change the way she felt._

_And like that, Haechan pushed him away. She pushed all of her love away and stomped out of their house. On a dark night like this, Jisung had no clue where she could be. But all he could think about was how much better it would be if he hadn't begun cheating on her in the first place._

                                                                                                                             

And now Jisung laid here months later. Haechan hadn't talked to him since. He did figure out that she was staying at her parents house though. But he still wasn't sure if his child was born yet or not. Haechan had never told him how many months pregnant she was and in the start Jisung tried guessing, but now he had simply given up and stopped counting the months. 

Chenle and him had become complicated. Every night that she managed to seduce him he felt even worse about himself. Until he finally faced a point where he wasn't able to keep this up anymore. He'd cheated on Haechan and she was right, all she did was give him her love. Even on nights when Jisung could tell Haechan didn't want him she'd say nothing and simply let him have her. 

Haechan did everything for him and he was the one who was wrong. It was all his fault, even he knew he was married, yet he still did all those things with Chenle. 

But now, Jisung knew he simply couldn't make things better. Haechan was a dull caterpillar to Jisung in the start. Plain looking and unattractive. But the moment he found out that she was pregnant suddenly Haechan blossomed into a butterfly. She had her metamorphosis and her wings spread in lovely colours of  white and grey. Now when he looks at their old pictures he see's how much more dazzling she was than Chenle. 

Yet as she became a butterfly she flew far away from Jisung. Jisung knows she refuses to talk to him now. He'd tried to text her a few times only to be left on read. No matter how much he begged for forgiveness he simply wouldn't get it. He knew Haechan was stronger than to fall right back into his arms.

Jisung had treated her poorly too. Stared at every other girls but her. He'd never talk to her sweetly nor smile at her. All he did was get mad at her or protest against things she did. He'd made her feel horrible about herself and whenever she'd cry, Jisung would simply stand there and watch her.

Even his mother had become disappointed in him the moment she'd found out what he'd done to Haechan. She gave him a long lecture about how he should have loved his wife and now Haechan and his child were never going to come back to him.

But the thought still flouted through his head. Jisung knew Haechan would never let him see their child, yet still,  _he was going to become a father._ How wonderful would that be? To see your little baby. To show him or her that they meant the world to him and be the perfect father.

But how was he going to be a good father when he was unable to be a good husband? How was Haechan going to trust him?

She simply wouldn't, he knew it too.

So more weeks and months went on. He'd see the sun and think of Haechan and how bright she was. Jisung would watch the butterflies in his garden turn away from him and fly away over and over. Reminding him that Haechan left him the same exact way.

When he thinks about it he never took the time to get to know exactly who Haechan was. Never asked her about the things she liked or didn't like. All he did was talk about himself. Never took her anywhere or treated her on her birthday.

And the bright moon reminded him of selfish time he spend with Chenle. Giving her everything. Treating her to everything and anything and holding her tight in the night. 

But he hated himself for that and regretted it so much. He hated the thought of Chenle and simply stopped talking to her at work too. He didn't want to lose control and end up in Chenle's bed again, that would only make him feel even worse.

So he spent his time alone. Sure his best-friend Jeno came over often. Sometimes he'd bring his little son and precious wife along too. Jisung would see the happiness on their faces and the way Jeno smiled at Mark. The way he hugged Mark. The way he kissed their one year old son. 

 Jisung wished he was able to do those things with Haechan. But it was too late. He was haunted by thoughts of Haechan and sometimes he couldn't sleep when thinking of her.  

And then it happened. One day his family was invited to Haechan's families house. Not for the reason you think. But to discuss their divorce. He never saw Haechan, but her parents insisted that she wanted divorce. Jisung didn't even find out if their child was born yet or not. But still he wanted to see her. He wanted to hear it from her mouth that she wanted divorce. Jisung wanted to ask about her health and how she had been doing these several months apart from him. 

His parents were awfully disappointed in him and were forcing him to say that he'd give Haechan divorce. They hated the fact that he had hurt Haechan so much and he hated it too. So he agreed, thinking that this is what Haechan wants, and his parents said that they'd get the divorce papers in a few days.

The night his parents forced him to sign the papers and sent them over, he found himself waking up from a nightmare of her leaving him again. Stuck in a cold sweat he placed his hand on his head and sat up. Jisung felt horrible and this nightmare had been haunting him for the past week. Tears filled his eyes, in fear of the dream. For some reason he found his hand reaching over to the nightstand and picking up his phone. He quickly called someone, as if he thought they would pick up.

And to his surprise, the person picked up for the first time in forever. More tears began filling up in the corners of his eyes as his breath was heavy and uneven. "Hello," he breathed.

The person on the other side didn't say anything.

"Park Haechan, I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

When he said it, that's finally when he realized it. Being away from Haechan made him fall so madly in love with her. He loves her more than a bee loves his flower. He wanted her more than a hungry bear wants honey. He cared for her more than a gardener cares for his plant.

It was simple though, Jisung just loved Haechan. Everything about her and the moment he could hear her sobs on the other end he wanted to run to her and embrace her.

"And I miss you," he continued, "I miss you so much darling. My life is so dull without you."

She couldn't stop crying on the other hand. Her heart had broken once again tonight, like it did months ago, when she'd seen to divorce papers. This made her believe that Jisung didn't feel upset in any possible way. But when hearing these sweet things from Jisung's mouth, she swears she could just melt in his arms.

He was about to continue speaking but she spoke before him. "Jisung," she choked out, "I need you here. Right now."

Jisung nodded and without any other thought he got up from his bed and drove all the way to her house. It was raining outside and he didn't even consider a sweater or even changing his clothes. All he knew was that Haechan needed him right now and he needed to be with her right now.

And like that he showed up at her door, clothes and hair soaking wet from the rain, only to see her standing under the patio. He ignored the door and walked through the grass, all the way to her. The moment he saw her he began crying too, as tears were already in her eyes.

He approached her, unsure of what to say. All he knew was that he loved the woman in front of him so darn much. "Darling," the two of them stood under the rain, soaking wet and freezing cold. "I love you so much and I hate myself for what I did to you," he whispered as he stood before her. 

She couldn't believe that he was saying this to her. Instead of forgiving him Haechan reached her hands up to grip onto his shirt and pulled him closer. "Jisung, please don't leave me."

Jisung couldn't understand how one human being could be this beautiful. He didn't understand how Haechan's hair could be the fluffiest thing he'd ever seen. Or how her eyes were like two diamonds. Her how her lips could look so soft. Jisung simply couldn't understand how her two wings could be so large and lovely as they wrapped around him, protecting the two of them from the rain.

And what he didn't understand the most is how he cheated on a woman who tried her hardest for him. How he simply decided to throw someone as precious as her away. "I'm so sorry Haechan. I can't believe I threw you away for Chenle," he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Haechan shook her head, "it's okay." She didn't know how she could forgive him. All she knew was that this man was the father to her child. Even if he treated her poorly in the past, she forgave him now because of all this love for him and their child.

Jisung slowly pulled away from her after a while. "I don't want divorce," he grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them. "I can't simply let go of you. I think I'll die if I do."

She nodded as her cold hands were being heated by this. "I love you too dearly to leave you again."

Jisung smiled at this and leaned down. He didn't care about the rain, or his parents, or Chenle, or anyone else but Haechan as he pressed his lips to hers. She returned the kiss in the sweetest way possible and this felt way better than kissing Chenle.

She pulled away and smiled at him. Haechan stepped back and looked a little nervous. "Park Jisung, would you like to see your baby?"

That's when it hit Jisung that she wasn't pregnant anymore. He had forgotten the baby the moment he'd seen her. Now Jisung's eyes lit up, just as Haechan's used to. "Of course!" he replied in excitement.

So she lead him inside the house and up the stairs. Of course everyone else was asleep at this time, only Jisung and Haechan loved each other enough to be awake right now. Haechan pulled him all the way to her bedroom and then to her bed. 

Jisung was nervous, from the distance he could see the baby laying there. His precious little baby. He didn't know if it was a boy or a girl. But he loved this baby so darn much already.

And was they reached the bed Jisung swears tears began leaving his eyes again. He leaned his body down to the bed, not wanting to make the baby wet by picking him or her up. As he stared at his beloved child Haechan spoke up.

"Her name is Jinaray." She quietly mumbled. "She's a week old."

Jisung watched as tears landed on his lovely daughters small face. He reached his finger over and grabbed her tiny little hand. A joyful smile formed on his face. "Hello my beautiful butterfly. My name is Park Jisung," he leaned down and kissed her forehead with his wet lips, "and you're my precious little daughter."

Haechan smiled at Jisung's actions. She was so scared of getting divorce, even though Jisung had treated her horribly. On the inside Haechan forgave him because she loved him so much. She tried to be strong but her heart melted right up at his words. If he was honest and loved them, she didn't care about his actions in the past. 

Jisung was finally satisfied. Both his butterflies were now by this side. He was foolish and didn't care for Haechan in the past, but now, he promised to protect his little family with his life. 

And oh yeah, he made sure to burn the divorce papers after that too. After all, he wouldn't let his wife and daughter leave him ever again. 

* * *

 

_Park Jisung_

__

_Park Haechan  
_  
_Zhong Chenle_  


**Author's Note:**

> Omg I hope everyone enjoyed this. Honestly idk what this really is I wrote it at 12 last night and I'm confused myself but hey at least Jichan was happy in the end. This is just supposed to be a little you know present because of their child, which you probably don't know. But still I wanted something cute at was lowkey angst but Jisung also loving his little baby. 
> 
> Anyways so sorry to the Chensung shippers because ya'll deserve so much better lol. Jisung only had lust for Chenle, I didn't want them to end up together. On the other hand he fell in love with Haechan so yea they were meant to be I guess.
> 
> Anyhow, tell me about how you all feel about this because I'm down to listen and thank you so much for reading. Now that I'm writing this I think I should have made him end up with Chenle haha lol. So yea, bye and have a good one!


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